Dear Friend,
Ok so this book I read was really good. It is called The Perks of Being a Walflower. I like the book because it is easy to relate to. I think you would like this book because of everything you have and are going through in life right now. It is very easy to relate to and you can learn a lot from what Charlie goes through. I loved this book, I really think you should give it a shot!
There is a part in the book where charlie says something that makes all his friends mad. He has to deal with all of them not talking to him and feeling very lonely for a while. I like this part because almost every kid experiences that a some point in high school. Another part that I really like is when Sam, Patrick, and Charlie are driving together and they feel infinite. It reminds me of when I was with my friends on a road trip and we felt infinite. I loved both of these scenes because i knew exactly how he felt and what he was going through. It was like reliving the past.
The most memorable part in the book to me is when Charlie and Sam are talking in her room at the end of the book. It has nothing to do with the sexual stuff but with the conversation they had. When Sam tells Charlie he needs to be honest and be himself from now on. She says that instead of being there to listen to, be a shoulder or the arms that someone might need. She also tells Charlie to do what he wants instead of holding back all the time. She also says that if you are not yourself then nobody can really love you for you. I think this is really good advice for everyone. It is very true that if you are never truely you and do not love yourself, then it is almost impossible for someone to love you or know you.
The end of the book is very confusing to me. I understand everything Charlie and Sam talk about. I get how all the friends feel and what they are going through. I get the family part of it as well. The main thing I still do not get is who Charlie is writing to. I think that it is sad that he ends up in the hospital for all his emotional problems again and goes through that hard time, but he learns from it. I think he learns who his friends are and what really matters in life. Maybe if I read through the end again and pay close attention I'll catch who he is writing to, but as of now I'm still lost.
Love Always,
Kaydence
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
November 12, 2008
Dear Friend,
Ok so i don't have anything that makes me happy when I'm having a bad day, at least thought wise. When I have a bad day I stay away from everyone because I get really mean and sometimes I cry. The only thing that can cheer me up is usually my best friend. She always talks about all the crazy times we've had says stupid funny things. So I guess thinking about all those things make me happy on a really bad day, but i don't ever think about them until she gets to my house.
Since were talking about bad days lets keep the negative thing going. So my aunt and I pretty much hated each other after my parents divorce. This lovely event happened when I was eight and the one thing that brought me and this lady together was drugs and alcohol. My older sister got addicted to drugs and my aunt loved sayin what a bad kid she was. She blamed it on my mom and the divorce and ugh you have no idea what hell this woman was until the alcohol. Her son decided to tell her what bitch she was and chugged a bottle in front of her. He began drinking heavily and she realized it sucked having a addicted for a child. After swallowing her pride she apologized to my family and we all got through both addictions together! Now we put up with each other and even have a real conversation every now and then.
Addictions suck! But they seem to be a thing to get into when things just aren't going your way. The one thing i turned to when my life was tumbling down was ecstasy. I hated school, my parents, life in general. Ecstasy turned it all around for me. I started going to school on it, my grades went up because i was gooing to school, and i even went home now and then! Sounds like the best thing ever huh? Well no I was basically helping people get drugs to do my work and only went home to get my parents off my back. When i finally saw my sister crash hard on drugs it opened my eyes and i quit. Thank god i learned from her otherwise I have no idea what would of happened to me. I really straightened out my life and I love it now!!
Love Always,
Kaydence
Ok so i don't have anything that makes me happy when I'm having a bad day, at least thought wise. When I have a bad day I stay away from everyone because I get really mean and sometimes I cry. The only thing that can cheer me up is usually my best friend. She always talks about all the crazy times we've had says stupid funny things. So I guess thinking about all those things make me happy on a really bad day, but i don't ever think about them until she gets to my house.
Since were talking about bad days lets keep the negative thing going. So my aunt and I pretty much hated each other after my parents divorce. This lovely event happened when I was eight and the one thing that brought me and this lady together was drugs and alcohol. My older sister got addicted to drugs and my aunt loved sayin what a bad kid she was. She blamed it on my mom and the divorce and ugh you have no idea what hell this woman was until the alcohol. Her son decided to tell her what bitch she was and chugged a bottle in front of her. He began drinking heavily and she realized it sucked having a addicted for a child. After swallowing her pride she apologized to my family and we all got through both addictions together! Now we put up with each other and even have a real conversation every now and then.
Addictions suck! But they seem to be a thing to get into when things just aren't going your way. The one thing i turned to when my life was tumbling down was ecstasy. I hated school, my parents, life in general. Ecstasy turned it all around for me. I started going to school on it, my grades went up because i was gooing to school, and i even went home now and then! Sounds like the best thing ever huh? Well no I was basically helping people get drugs to do my work and only went home to get my parents off my back. When i finally saw my sister crash hard on drugs it opened my eyes and i quit. Thank god i learned from her otherwise I have no idea what would of happened to me. I really straightened out my life and I love it now!!
Love Always,
Kaydence
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
November 5, 2008
Dear Friend,
If i could give my best friend a CD right now it would have these songs on it...
The Boys are Back-HSM3
Right Now-Akon
So What-Pink
Walk Away-Paula DeAnda
Best Thing-Usher
Heaven Sent-Keyshia Cole
Mad-Ne-Yo
Take A Bow-Rihanna
Torn-Le Toya
The Boys are Back-HSM3
I would call this CD "Muffin's Boy Mix"
The first and last song are "The Boys are Back" because when we saw this movie it was just like us. We grew up together and always did everything together and college split us but were always together! It's kind of our theme song now! When we saw the movie she looked at me and said, "this is us" and has been stoked about it since.
I would want this CD to help her get through her boy problems right now. We always listen to love songs when were sad, kinda dumb but, so the middle ones are all break up and songs like that. But "The Boys are Back" in the beginning and at the end would just reassure her that she always has me and I'll always be here, unlike stupid boys! I want her to know she can get through anything and I'll be there to help her even though I know she is strong enough to do it alone.
My family is hard to describe but 5 of them that are easy would be...
My little sister is quick witted.
My Grandpa is the most opinionated man in the whole world!
My older sister is THE drama queen.
My Saint bernard is WAY cooler then Bethoveen.
My Grandma is literally an angel!!
Love always,
Kaydence
If i could give my best friend a CD right now it would have these songs on it...
The Boys are Back-HSM3
Right Now-Akon
So What-Pink
Walk Away-Paula DeAnda
Best Thing-Usher
Heaven Sent-Keyshia Cole
Mad-Ne-Yo
Take A Bow-Rihanna
Torn-Le Toya
The Boys are Back-HSM3
I would call this CD "Muffin's Boy Mix"
The first and last song are "The Boys are Back" because when we saw this movie it was just like us. We grew up together and always did everything together and college split us but were always together! It's kind of our theme song now! When we saw the movie she looked at me and said, "this is us" and has been stoked about it since.
I would want this CD to help her get through her boy problems right now. We always listen to love songs when were sad, kinda dumb but, so the middle ones are all break up and songs like that. But "The Boys are Back" in the beginning and at the end would just reassure her that she always has me and I'll always be here, unlike stupid boys! I want her to know she can get through anything and I'll be there to help her even though I know she is strong enough to do it alone.
My family is hard to describe but 5 of them that are easy would be...
My little sister is quick witted.
My Grandpa is the most opinionated man in the whole world!
My older sister is THE drama queen.
My Saint bernard is WAY cooler then Bethoveen.
My Grandma is literally an angel!!
Love always,
Kaydence
Monday, October 27, 2008
October 27, 2008
Dear Friend,
Ok so have I ever told you how beautiful Allison is? I think it's impossible but I'll try. She is the most amazing person in the world and would do anything for anyone. She could make a sinner a saint. She is the most genuine and amazing person someone could have in their life.
Glory days are, in my mind, the most amazing and unforgetful days of a persons life. They are the days that nobody could ever take away or bring you down when your in them. I personally don't think I've lived my glory days because i just started living a almost real live. I just graduated high school and am now experiencing college. Nothing too amazing happened in high school and not even now has anything happened that I think is unforgetable in a good way. I think everything i have gone through so far has only made me stronger and prepared me for my life ahead. I think my glory days will happen after I graduate college and start a career. When i am in complete joy and bliss and nothing can ruin that. It will be when everytime I think about it I can go back and relive it with no blurs. I know i haven't done that yet, but I can't wait for it to happen.
Holidays in my family always suprise me. I come from a split family and my dad's family hates me so they always treat my oldest sister and me like shit. We just put on fake faces and deal with it until our dad gives us the sign that we've been there long enough and we can leave. We always use my mom's family as an excuse to leave because you have to spend time with both families on holidays! My mom's family is AMAZING!!! We just talk and joke the whole time. We laugh and tell stories and eat a lot! I can't explain my holidays because they change drastically every year. I can say that i look forward to the new tension and fake acts with my dads family, even though they are starting to get real little by little over the past eight years. And with my moms family it's just crazy and fun so I never know but oh man I love it! Oh my aunt Barb is by far the craziest person in my family. She thinks everything is about her and she is the most perfect person in the world, and she isn't. But it's really funny to watch her get mad when other people get the spotlight. She even gets mad when my nine year old little sister gets the attention. If it's not about her perfect family it's wrong, and oh man do i love trying to be the center of attention around her and talk about all the great things i've done!! i know it's mean but if you grew up in that family it's really survival of the fitest.
Always and Forever,
Kaydence
Ok so have I ever told you how beautiful Allison is? I think it's impossible but I'll try. She is the most amazing person in the world and would do anything for anyone. She could make a sinner a saint. She is the most genuine and amazing person someone could have in their life.
Glory days are, in my mind, the most amazing and unforgetful days of a persons life. They are the days that nobody could ever take away or bring you down when your in them. I personally don't think I've lived my glory days because i just started living a almost real live. I just graduated high school and am now experiencing college. Nothing too amazing happened in high school and not even now has anything happened that I think is unforgetable in a good way. I think everything i have gone through so far has only made me stronger and prepared me for my life ahead. I think my glory days will happen after I graduate college and start a career. When i am in complete joy and bliss and nothing can ruin that. It will be when everytime I think about it I can go back and relive it with no blurs. I know i haven't done that yet, but I can't wait for it to happen.
Holidays in my family always suprise me. I come from a split family and my dad's family hates me so they always treat my oldest sister and me like shit. We just put on fake faces and deal with it until our dad gives us the sign that we've been there long enough and we can leave. We always use my mom's family as an excuse to leave because you have to spend time with both families on holidays! My mom's family is AMAZING!!! We just talk and joke the whole time. We laugh and tell stories and eat a lot! I can't explain my holidays because they change drastically every year. I can say that i look forward to the new tension and fake acts with my dads family, even though they are starting to get real little by little over the past eight years. And with my moms family it's just crazy and fun so I never know but oh man I love it! Oh my aunt Barb is by far the craziest person in my family. She thinks everything is about her and she is the most perfect person in the world, and she isn't. But it's really funny to watch her get mad when other people get the spotlight. She even gets mad when my nine year old little sister gets the attention. If it's not about her perfect family it's wrong, and oh man do i love trying to be the center of attention around her and talk about all the great things i've done!! i know it's mean but if you grew up in that family it's really survival of the fitest.
Always and Forever,
Kaydence
Monday, October 6, 2008
October 6, 2008
Dear Friend,
OK so when I was eight my parents divorced and obviously it sucked, but it was harder on my twelve year old sister. She learned quickly to use this to her advantage though and tell our parents it was really messing her up and she needed space. She would tell mom she missed dad and it wasn't the same which killed my mom so she let her do whatever she wanted in life. Then she owuld tell dad that she hated his new girlfriend and rufused to speak to him or see him with her so he tried to buy her love and let her do whatever she wanted. Unfortunately at twelve it's easy to be corrupted and ruin your life, and that's exactly what my sister did.
My role model sister held strong for awhile she got in trouble here and there and then her grades started to slip. In eighth grade her friends tried to poison their teacher and my sister took the wrap. They later caught the girls but still she was in a world of trouble. She was still my role model and did pretty good in school and then joined the varsity cheerleading team on top of modeling. These soon became my goals and i left my football team and started being way girly. I followed every step she made until she made one i couldn't comprehend...Cocaine. I tried doing it but it wasn't fun at all and i hated how i felt. After about a year the Cocaine won and took my sister, not by death, but she wasn't my sister anymore. She never came home, hid drugs in my room, really screwed our family over. After my grandma died and her life went to hell we got her into rehab, which didn't do shit. You would think a rehab would know drug addicts are manipulative but she fooled them and was out in less then two weeks. This led her to relapse and she finally got clean over a year later. She now has a job and living a very good life. She lost a lot over the years but she always blamed it on the divorce. I learned from her to never lose sight of myself or my goals because life is hard. No matter how hard life gets, someone always has it worse and they always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
My best friend knows that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger due to our crazy celebration of her fifteenth birthday. My sister was loving drugs at the time so we decided to play around with them. We began smoking weed everyday at twelve and drinking every weekend. This got boring and at thirteen or fourteen ecstasy became an everyday thing. So her birthday rolled around and we went to a rave where of course we got to drink in. We went higher then I've ever been and instantly began drinking. This led to birthday pills and those went down great with vix on the side. Then we got light shows and went crazy with our boyfriends who brought some cocaine and more weed. We progressed to the car and did this then went our separte ways with our boys and said we would meet up in the morning to go home. (becuase we obvioulsy said we were at each others houses) Too bad for us we saw each other not even four hours later.
David and I tried going to bed and were woke up by my phone ringing like crazy. I rolled over to see my best friend calling so of course i answer to find her mom on the other end. The first thing i heard was, "Kaydence what the fuck did you two do tonight and where the hell are you." I began to think as fast as a could until i heard, "Alanna is in the hospital she has been seizuring out and is probably going to die." My heart dropped and i rushed to the hospital to find her in a live coma. They found she had insefalitis (if that's even how you spell it) which only two people have servived from. Her brain was swelling at a rapid rate and they said i had 6 days to say goodbye to her. On day six i went in to say goodbye to my other half who couldn't remember me to save her life and got, "Muffin why the fuck are you crying and why the hell do i have all these tubes in me." It was a miracle!! My best friend pulled thru and is still living to this day! I learned how important she was to me and all my friends for that matter and never touched a drug since.
That night i could easily say i felt infinite. Nothing could hurt me and we were bigger then the world. We had no boundaries and no limitations. I seriously felt invincable. Unfortunatley I never want to feel that way again and if i do I want it to be good all the way thru. I can't explain any other time i felt so powerful and carefree which is really sad, but hopefully one day i will experience something way more powerful then that!
Love Always,
Kaydence
OK so when I was eight my parents divorced and obviously it sucked, but it was harder on my twelve year old sister. She learned quickly to use this to her advantage though and tell our parents it was really messing her up and she needed space. She would tell mom she missed dad and it wasn't the same which killed my mom so she let her do whatever she wanted in life. Then she owuld tell dad that she hated his new girlfriend and rufused to speak to him or see him with her so he tried to buy her love and let her do whatever she wanted. Unfortunately at twelve it's easy to be corrupted and ruin your life, and that's exactly what my sister did.
My role model sister held strong for awhile she got in trouble here and there and then her grades started to slip. In eighth grade her friends tried to poison their teacher and my sister took the wrap. They later caught the girls but still she was in a world of trouble. She was still my role model and did pretty good in school and then joined the varsity cheerleading team on top of modeling. These soon became my goals and i left my football team and started being way girly. I followed every step she made until she made one i couldn't comprehend...Cocaine. I tried doing it but it wasn't fun at all and i hated how i felt. After about a year the Cocaine won and took my sister, not by death, but she wasn't my sister anymore. She never came home, hid drugs in my room, really screwed our family over. After my grandma died and her life went to hell we got her into rehab, which didn't do shit. You would think a rehab would know drug addicts are manipulative but she fooled them and was out in less then two weeks. This led her to relapse and she finally got clean over a year later. She now has a job and living a very good life. She lost a lot over the years but she always blamed it on the divorce. I learned from her to never lose sight of myself or my goals because life is hard. No matter how hard life gets, someone always has it worse and they always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
My best friend knows that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger due to our crazy celebration of her fifteenth birthday. My sister was loving drugs at the time so we decided to play around with them. We began smoking weed everyday at twelve and drinking every weekend. This got boring and at thirteen or fourteen ecstasy became an everyday thing. So her birthday rolled around and we went to a rave where of course we got to drink in. We went higher then I've ever been and instantly began drinking. This led to birthday pills and those went down great with vix on the side. Then we got light shows and went crazy with our boyfriends who brought some cocaine and more weed. We progressed to the car and did this then went our separte ways with our boys and said we would meet up in the morning to go home. (becuase we obvioulsy said we were at each others houses) Too bad for us we saw each other not even four hours later.
David and I tried going to bed and were woke up by my phone ringing like crazy. I rolled over to see my best friend calling so of course i answer to find her mom on the other end. The first thing i heard was, "Kaydence what the fuck did you two do tonight and where the hell are you." I began to think as fast as a could until i heard, "Alanna is in the hospital she has been seizuring out and is probably going to die." My heart dropped and i rushed to the hospital to find her in a live coma. They found she had insefalitis (if that's even how you spell it) which only two people have servived from. Her brain was swelling at a rapid rate and they said i had 6 days to say goodbye to her. On day six i went in to say goodbye to my other half who couldn't remember me to save her life and got, "Muffin why the fuck are you crying and why the hell do i have all these tubes in me." It was a miracle!! My best friend pulled thru and is still living to this day! I learned how important she was to me and all my friends for that matter and never touched a drug since.
That night i could easily say i felt infinite. Nothing could hurt me and we were bigger then the world. We had no boundaries and no limitations. I seriously felt invincable. Unfortunatley I never want to feel that way again and if i do I want it to be good all the way thru. I can't explain any other time i felt so powerful and carefree which is really sad, but hopefully one day i will experience something way more powerful then that!
Love Always,
Kaydence
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
September 17
September 17, 2008
Dear friend,
I am writing to you because I have a lot of stressful issues going on in my life right now. It wouldn’t be a problem if it was just one of the multiple things going on, but it’s a lot! I just need to know I am going to be ok, and you always reassure me of that. So first of all things with my Mason suck right now. We lost our trust and communication skills so you can imagine how the relationship is going. One of our best friend’s sisters just died and she was only fifteen. I fucking hate drugs sorry for the language but she dies of an overdose. Finally school is stressin me out cause I’m too worried about everyone else and don’t focus on myself. I think you of all people would understand that because you are always helping everyone and it seems you never have any problems in your life.
So this is my life and I want you to know I’m freaking out! The other day my dad came over and tried to talk to me about everything but he was so opinionated about everything it just made me mad. Then my mom tried giving me advice and it’s very good advice, don’t get me wrong, but it will be so hard to work on me and Mason by giving this time and going day by day and just being there for him. Then to deal with another death! That makes it 17 in the last year. Finally dealing with school she told me to just go and go to work then do homework. All of that is fine except the homework part. There are like 80 hours worth of homework to do while trying to have a life I’m a mess! Thanks for letting me vent!
Love Always,
Kaydence
P.S. It's my best friends birthday today!
Dear friend,
I am writing to you because I have a lot of stressful issues going on in my life right now. It wouldn’t be a problem if it was just one of the multiple things going on, but it’s a lot! I just need to know I am going to be ok, and you always reassure me of that. So first of all things with my Mason suck right now. We lost our trust and communication skills so you can imagine how the relationship is going. One of our best friend’s sisters just died and she was only fifteen. I fucking hate drugs sorry for the language but she dies of an overdose. Finally school is stressin me out cause I’m too worried about everyone else and don’t focus on myself. I think you of all people would understand that because you are always helping everyone and it seems you never have any problems in your life.
So this is my life and I want you to know I’m freaking out! The other day my dad came over and tried to talk to me about everything but he was so opinionated about everything it just made me mad. Then my mom tried giving me advice and it’s very good advice, don’t get me wrong, but it will be so hard to work on me and Mason by giving this time and going day by day and just being there for him. Then to deal with another death! That makes it 17 in the last year. Finally dealing with school she told me to just go and go to work then do homework. All of that is fine except the homework part. There are like 80 hours worth of homework to do while trying to have a life I’m a mess! Thanks for letting me vent!
Love Always,
Kaydence
P.S. It's my best friends birthday today!
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